Sometimes a sentence or paragraph just isn't flowing. When read aloud, the text is clumsy or confusing. So how do we revise and reshape those trouble spots? Try these simple strategies for crafting effective sentences:
1. Place the subject and verb at or near the beginning of the sentence
Original: Understanding that students may be unfamiliar with literary analysis essays and would benefit from a
an online tutorial, the Writing About Literature website offers a step-by-step guide to the process. (readers must tackle a long phrase before getting to the subject and verb of the sentence)
Revised: The Writing About Literature website offers a step-by-step guide to help students learn to write literary
analysis essays. (subject and verb are placed near the beginning of the sentence, so readers immediately know what it's about)
2. Use active voice
Original: Stephen Crane's short story, "The Open Boat," was discussed by the literature students. (uses passive voice: the story is the receiver of the action)
Revised: The literature students discussed Stephen Crane's short story, "The Open Boat." (uses active voice: the students are doing the action)
3. Avoid lengthy clauses that separate subjects and verbs or verbs and objects
Original: The Writing About Literature website, which understands that students may be unfamiliar with literary analysis essays and would benefit from an online tutorial, offers a step-by-step guide to the process. (subject and verb are separated by a lengthy clause)
Revised: The Writing About Literature website offers a step-by-step guide to writing literary analysis essays, which benefits students who are unfamiliar with the process. (subject and verb are placed together, not interrupted)
4. Start the sentence with familiar information, and end the sentence with new and important information
Readers get confused when a sentence suddenly introduces new information. For a smooth transition, place familiar information at the beginning of the sentence and new or important information near the end of the sentence. This is especially true of a literary analysis essay in which paragraphs must build on each other to support a thesis statement.
5. Omit meaningless and redundant words
Examples of meaningless words: kind of; really; generally; actually; basically; totally
Original: Literary analysis actually involves uncovering certain elements in the story and kind of considering how the writer uses those elements to basically give the story depth and meaning.
Revised: Literary analysis involves uncovering elements in the story and considering how the writer uses those elements to give the story depth and meaning.
Examples of redundant words: each and every; any and all; true and accurate; first and foremost
Original: First and foremost, our website offers each and every student a step-by-step guide to understanding and mastering any and all phases of literary analysis.
Revised: Our website offers students a step-by-step guide to understanding and mastering literary analysis.
(Adapted from Style: The Basics of Clarity and Grace by Joseph M. Williams and Gregory G. Colomb)
1. Place the subject and verb at or near the beginning of the sentence
Original: Understanding that students may be unfamiliar with literary analysis essays and would benefit from a
an online tutorial, the Writing About Literature website offers a step-by-step guide to the process. (readers must tackle a long phrase before getting to the subject and verb of the sentence)
Revised: The Writing About Literature website offers a step-by-step guide to help students learn to write literary
analysis essays. (subject and verb are placed near the beginning of the sentence, so readers immediately know what it's about)
2. Use active voice
Original: Stephen Crane's short story, "The Open Boat," was discussed by the literature students. (uses passive voice: the story is the receiver of the action)
Revised: The literature students discussed Stephen Crane's short story, "The Open Boat." (uses active voice: the students are doing the action)
3. Avoid lengthy clauses that separate subjects and verbs or verbs and objects
Original: The Writing About Literature website, which understands that students may be unfamiliar with literary analysis essays and would benefit from an online tutorial, offers a step-by-step guide to the process. (subject and verb are separated by a lengthy clause)
Revised: The Writing About Literature website offers a step-by-step guide to writing literary analysis essays, which benefits students who are unfamiliar with the process. (subject and verb are placed together, not interrupted)
4. Start the sentence with familiar information, and end the sentence with new and important information
Readers get confused when a sentence suddenly introduces new information. For a smooth transition, place familiar information at the beginning of the sentence and new or important information near the end of the sentence. This is especially true of a literary analysis essay in which paragraphs must build on each other to support a thesis statement.
5. Omit meaningless and redundant words
Examples of meaningless words: kind of; really; generally; actually; basically; totally
Original: Literary analysis actually involves uncovering certain elements in the story and kind of considering how the writer uses those elements to basically give the story depth and meaning.
Revised: Literary analysis involves uncovering elements in the story and considering how the writer uses those elements to give the story depth and meaning.
Examples of redundant words: each and every; any and all; true and accurate; first and foremost
Original: First and foremost, our website offers each and every student a step-by-step guide to understanding and mastering any and all phases of literary analysis.
Revised: Our website offers students a step-by-step guide to understanding and mastering literary analysis.
(Adapted from Style: The Basics of Clarity and Grace by Joseph M. Williams and Gregory G. Colomb)